What is Trust?

There has been a lot of talk lately about not being able to trust. We all have our reasons (and they are all good ones). Often times the advice given is that you simply have to trust again. Although that is true, it does not point to the direction in which to do this. It is missing the HOW.

How does one learn to trust again? That indeed is a great question. First we must look at what trust is. I think we all have the same general idea of what is trust – it is a perception of honesty, competence and similar values. It is reliance on another. The person you are trusting must fulfill your ethical ideas. And the very first people we learn to trust are our parents. And if we perceive that they failed us in anyway, we become stuck in a pattern of mistrust that is very hard to break.

Now consider this. You can’t trust anyone.

To some this may be a shock for it may come across as deeply cynical. To others they roll their eyes and say ‘No kidding. Brilliant Lucas. Did you come up with that all on your own?’ So let’s look at that statement, but not in any cynical way – I have no desire to fuel the negativity surrounding trust or to be pessimistic.



Even the most trustworthy person on the planet will have a bad day. And in a particular moment that person can easily snap at you and say or do something that causes you to distrust them. Depending on the person you may still trust them, and forgive them, but still they have betrayed your trust according to our definition. Others we clearly know we can’t trust (certain government officials, certain lawyers and certain co-workers). In the end what it comes down to is that at some point at some time, someone will betray your trust because trust is a very personal idea. Your own idea and it will be broken.

Some will say you must trust, or put your faith in God. But this does not work for everyone, because there are many people out there who think God is the one who has betrayed their trust. And if this does work for you, don’t mess with it. Keep trusting in God.

Now that I’ve sent everyone into depressing despair, consider this:

The only person you can trust is yourself.

In any given situation, at any given time, you are the common thread. You are the only constant. You are the only one you can trust. And the beauty of this is that it gets everyone else off the hook. You no longer need to judge them for not acting accordingly. You no longer need to throw stones at them for what you perceive as betrayal. In any given situation, you can trust yourself to deal with the situation. You can trust yourself to know what to say, or what not to say. You can trust yourself to not take things personally. By trusting yourself this allows people to be who they are without judgment or even preconceived notions on how you think they should act. It suggests an understanding that their betrayal, their selfishness is their issue. Not yours.

Understand that people will act in ways that you will call selfish, or rude, or a multitude of other ways. The key, the trick, here is to understand that you can trust yourself that you will be okay. No matter what.

And the only way to trust yourself is to practice it. Remove your expectations of others and ALLOW yourself to trust YOU. In the face of greatest danger, in the face of greatest fear – trust yourself.